Storm Large- Portland Still Loves You, Baby (And I Love You, Too)

Storm Large, Portland's rock goddess was booted off CBS' Rockstar: Supernova last night.

The goddamn travesty, those damn judges and those caller who decided that she wasn't fight for Supernova- which consists of former Motley crue drummer Tommy Lee; Metallica's Jason Newsted; and former Guns N' Roses axeman Gilby Clarke (how is working with Axl Rose working out, Gilb?). They don't know a good thing when they see it! Storm sang her balls (or ovaries) out. A total class act. Yes, she had a few missteps, but come on, no one's perfect.

Don't worry, Stormy. You're still a class act to me, and the rest of your adoring fams here in Portland. We look forward to your triumphant return to Dante's, alongside your kick ass group, The Balls, and believe me when I say this, baby. You are a Storm to be reckoned with- and that's no pun.

Somehow, I get the feeling that those guys in Supernova will be even sorrier that they let Storm go. Now they have to put up with Dilana's torture longer. In fact, I fucking hope she gives them nightmares in their sleep. Singing...no, screeching, and hollering. Gee, I'd feel safer hearing the Wicked Witch of the West (from the Wizard of Oz) singing (and cackling...picture Dilana cackling the line, "I'll get you, my pretties...and that goddamned dog, too!").

Strangely enough, I found Storm and Dilana to be a very sexy couple. No, really. Stormy, the six foot gorgeous chatenuse from Portland (by way of Massachusetts), and Dilana, the...um...well, at least Dilana's not a bad looking chick (I say this as I put my fingers in my mouth, and make a gagging gesture).

The great thing about Storm was she handled the call (that she didn't make the cut) with grace and dignity. She does, indeed, do Portland very proud.

May there be sellouts at every venue you play from here on out, Storm.

Welcome home.