Wanted: New Owner(s) for Losing NBA Franchise

In their 36 years, the Portland Jail Blazers...er, Trail Blazers franchise was one of the winningest in NBA history. Who could forget the '77 Championship- with Bill Walton and other guys whose names escape me right now. And then there's Clyde "The Glide" Drexler with his smooth moves and high scoring.

Oh, those were the days.

My, where have they gone?

(Darren sings- in the tune of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?")
Where have all the Blazers gone
Long time losing
Where have all the Blazers gone
The legends of long ago?
Where in the hell is Bill Walton
And The Glide Clyde Drexler
When will Paul Allen learn?
When will Paul Allen learn?

What in the hell have my Blazers done?
Once were winners
What in the fuck have my Blazers done?
Now they're losers
Why in the hell did my Blazers stray
I'll know someday
When will they win again?
When will they win again?

Okay, so it's bad singing- writing on the fly isn't easy.

As we here in the Rose City now know- and probably the rest of the world as well, the Portland Losers...er, Blazers, are now up for sale. After years of overpaying a bunch of overgrown, barely toilet trained gorillas- Rasheed Wallace, now of the 2003 World Champions my Detroit Pistons, notwithstanding- whose arrest records sometimes overshadowed their NBA records, the owner Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen looks to be selling the team. Who will buy Portland's black eye, who knows? But when the new owner does buy the team, I hope s/he knows what the fuck they're getting into. Can anyone say see you in bankruptcy court?