Fuck This Cold, Let's Fuck

I'm battling this cold.

But I'm also battling feelings for this floozy named Linda. Admittedly, Linda's what I'd love to a guilty pleasure. Let me explain. I love when she hugs me, even when she kisses me. But- and it's a BIG ASS BUTTAFUOCO!- Linda is one of those women Mickey Gilley sings about in his song "All the Girls Get Prettier at Closing Time". Oh, and there's her reputation as a lady of the night (put 2+2 together on that one). Fortunately, those feeling s have waned quite a bit since her recent photo in the (Portland) Trib(une), so there's hope for me I think. My attentions have been shifting toward this older woman I've had this crush on for the past (going on) three year. Dorothy is in her mid 40s-mid 50s (what is it with me and older women anyway? I did mention that I've banged this fifty-something lesbian last month, didn't I?...), and last night I dreamt of her. Now Dot has this bleached blond hair, about my height...really attractive (despite the fact that she- like myself- smokes, though I'm working on giving up the habit...).

You've seen the Apple commercials on the ubitquitous iPod for the past...going on five years, I think. Well, some bastard genius came up with an idea that only Apple Computer- the maker of the iPod, of course- can love. Why didn't they think of this?

As soon as iFilm lets us viewers snag this image, I'll put it on this page.

Also on iFilm.com, is a porn star that has a little trouble...well, keeping up. watch her as she slips on her ass on http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2710628.