Looks like South Carolina first lady Jenny Sanford is taking the first steps toward being an "ex"- as in "ex-First Lady", and "ex-wife" of that lovable hunk of love, Governor Mark Sanford. As we all know, Mr. Sanford lied to the constituents of the Palmetto State weeks ago when he said that he was hiking the Appalachians, which I'm sure are somewhere in South America. In Argentina, I think. I'm not sure. Anyway, he made the confession that he was seeing his Argentine girlfriend, Maria Belen Chapur (cue the bluegrass tango music, in honor of Mr. Sanford's Appalachian tango...oh, okay, so Buenos Aires is the capital of South Carolina...no? Well, it looks like Columbia. At least, Mr. Sanford thinks so, right?)
The governor says that he supports Jenny's packing her bags and moving back to the family residence on Sullivans Island. She said that she's continuing the healing process, as she recovers from Mark's philandering- c'mon, Jen! He was on official business in Argentina, remember?...wait...I mean, the Appalachians.
Jenny, confess to your best friend Darren here, you're dumping the son of a bitch. He already said that he loves Maria, and that you're a old sow that's in the way. Yes, he said that he'll try to love you, but, honey, face it! Your marriage is in such a state where you're singing along with the 1980s group The Motels (for the link to the video to "Take The L", just click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ooi8Cnb1fx0). Keep your head high as you deliver this bum his divorce papers. Then, you can do your own little tango.
(C) 2009 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.
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