Liz, Where's Your Ring, Honey?

I can explain this.

You see, Liz Edwards and myself have started an affair. You know, as revenge for that good-for-nothing cad cheating on her. And he did it while running for the office of el presidente AND while she's dealing with cancer. How in the fuck can he do such a thing?

All kidding on the Liz loves Darren tryst aside, Elizabeth Edwards went to Washington this week to talk about health care. But many had noticed that Ms. (forget about calling her 'Mrs.')Edwards wasn't wearing her wedding band. which may mean that one, she may have forgotten it accidentally on purpose, or that she may have left it behind. Accidentally on purpose. Either way, it looks like Liz may have come to her senses and dumped that son of a bitch John out to the pig sty, where he can oink like one while stoking Miss Piggy (go ahead, Johnny. Roll in the mud...).

As we all know by now, John had an affair with a filmmaker who chronicled his presidential run. Rielle Hunter said at the time of the revelation (of the affair) that John is the baby daddy of the girl she gave birth to earlier this year. John still denies this, so I guess we're going to have to make a call to TV talk show host Maury Povich, and put ol' Johnny on Maury. Imagine the ratings skyrocketing over that.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Trying To Guilt Trip Obama Supporters, Eh?

I got this stupid e-mail this morning from this group called Conservative Alerts, who- surprise!- support political candidates who hold so-called conservative beliefs. You know, against abortion, same sex marriage, and anything that religion can get their fucking hands on. Don't these people have better things to do?

Well, I guess not.

Of course, what this group is attempting to do is persuade the undecided independent voters- I guess the Democrats (of which I am one) are a totally lost cause- to vote for John McCain. After all, he's against same sex marriage, abortion, and doesn't want gays in the military- even if they happen to be decorated and loyal to their country. Just think, a little butt fucking between guys or carpet munching between girls can destroy morale in the troops. How nice.

You can believe what you can believe, but as for me, I shall worship the Lord- however I choose to worship Her.
(C) 2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Another Tool To Work With(...Which is More Than I Can Say for Kwame)

I'm testing out this new method of putting blog entries on to the three blogs I work with. I'm ironing out the kinks here, but soon, I'll be able to transfer the info I write from the WinJournal program I now have, to the blogs.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying myself with the program. Thanks to mariner Software of the Twin Cities area for great work and a great program.

Kwame Kilpatrick, ex-Detroit mayor. Man who decided to fuck over his constituents. As we all know, Kilpatrick fired a Detroit police deputy, to cover up his alleged affair with his chief of staff.

Kilpatrick has to serve the 120 day sentence, so even if he behaves himself, ol' boy isn't going anywhere, anyhow.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

White Supremacists' Plot to Kill Obama Thwarted

Oh, what is it about these neo-Nazis and white supremacists- and basically almost anyone in the Republican Party, for that matter- wanting to make sure Barack Obama doesn't make it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW? First, there's the Reverend Wright debacle, then Joe 'the Plumber' Wurzelbacher. Next, this thing about Obama not even American. Truth of the matter, I'm taking that with a grain of salt.


rodneykingstrikesback/MSNBC/YouTube

But the white supremacy thing is like a STD or cancer run amok- it apparently doesn't want to die. Sure, Obama will be the first black president of the United States, but hey, change is good, right? Apparently not, for every white neo-Nazi knucklehead's blood is boiling over the likelihood of having a black man in office. I guess they're afraid that the White House will be renamed the 'Africa House' or something.

Still, Daniel Cowart, 20, and Paul Schlesselman, 18 (that last name sounds Jewish, Paul...) are charged with illegal possession of a sawed-off shotgun; conspiracy to rob a federally licensed gun store; and of course, making threats against a presidential candidate. What the two planned to do was to 'kill 100 African-Americans, including beheading 14 of them (the number '14' in neo-Nazi culture means fourteen words: "We must secure the existence of our People and a future for white children". This quote is attributed to David Lane, a white nationalist. The numeral 14 is often seen next to the number 88- which happen to mean the initials of 'Heil Hitler'. At any rate, 14 dead blacks just ensure the future of the white race. Gee, my heroes!)

You'd think that after 40 or so years, we'd have the sense to believe that all are created equal, with equal chances to succeed if we only set our minds to our goals. Obama, obviously, is successful in his endeavors- and may he continue to do so. These two clowns believe in some ideology that says that blacks (or any other group that isn't Aryan, white, etc...) are inferior.

Funny thing is, any supremacy group- be it black, white, or other- who thinks like that seem to suffering from the same complex that they accuse the other of- having inferiority complex. Of course, they'll deny it.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Alaska Senator Ted Stevens Guilty of Corruption

Right now, I bet ol' Theodore Stevens, the Republican US senator out of Alaska is hoping for a presidential pardon- and probably a good word from fellow Alaskan, Governor Sarah Palin.

Stevens was found guilty of all seven counts of corruption. The jury found him guilty of "willfully and knowingly" scheming to conceal on disclosure forms more than $250,000 in home renovations, and other gifts from an Alaska oil industry contractor. Now, how much time he'll get, this is not known, but you can probably bet your bottom dollar that whatever sentence he'll get, he won't serve a day of it.

"Thanks, George and Sarah!", screams Ted. "I got my presidential pardon!"

Just you watch come January 19, 2009.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Young Lady, You've Got Some Major Explaining To Do!

Remember that white female college student, who says that a large black guy carved a letter 'B' in her face after robbing her?
h544jyjw4/CNN/YouTube

Can somebody say "Uh-oh, somebody's playing the race card?" Or "Somebody's been lying their teeth off?" A pissed off McCain supporter who's just pissed that McCain's losing?

No matter what, 20-year-old Ashley Todd is charged with filing a false report.

I can't help but wonder if she really was trying to start, say, the purported Holy Race war that white supremacists are allegedly so bloodthirsty for. Or is this girl just raving stark mad?

All I can say is, "Ash, you've got to explain this one.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Mall Santa To Get Job Back

WJLA-TV, Washington, DC

For eighteen holiday seasons, 51-year-old Michael Graham, of Sevier, Tennessee, traveled to McLean, Virginia to work as the Santa Claus at Tysons Corner Mall. But all of that came to a crashing end yesterday when Graham- a carpenter by trade- learned that he got the pink slip. Apparently, mall management had hired a new photography firm to photograph Santa for this upcoming holiday season.

But word got around extremely fast, and boy, did Tysons Corner mall management get earfuls. As you may imagine, Graham was a highly popular Santa at the mall. He apparently has the touch to calm and bring laughter to children of all ages. Long lines were always prevalent at the holiday shopping season. And those Scrooges decided that, "no, we don't need him." That's like...like dumping the beloved pet dog, and replacing it with another. It's just not the same.

Apparently, mall management got the message. Graham and management had reached an 'agreement in principle'. So, now, Graham...I mean Santa will once again bring joy to Tysons Corner Mall this holiday season.

And just think, I was just preparing to send lumps of coal- and horse and deer manure- to the mall offices.

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved. Video, courtesy of Allbritton Communications Company

Oh, Sarah, You're a Sketch...

Sarah Palin. Such a trouper.

True, she was an extremely good sport last weekend on NBC's Saturday Night Live. And she's very MILFy- I guess my only regret here is that I didn't meet up with her some twenty years ago. Todd should be so lucky.

(Oh, and don't forget that she seems to be handling her eldest daughter Bristol's pregnancy extremely well. Of course, I think the guy who knocked Bristol up was told to "be a man", all while facing the barrel of a double barrel rifle held by Sarah herself. Better listen, son...).

Today, she talked with those cunts at the organization known for their love of gays; anyone who is pro-choice; and probably any racial group other than white, Anglo-Saxon protestant: Focus on the Family, run by the best cunt of all, Dr. James Dobson.

Palin says that God will "do the right thing on Election Day," and get her bed buddy John Sidney McCain III and herself in the White House. Of course, if that's the case, I'm afraid that Cindy's going have to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom. Not that ol' Cin's complaining. Hell, for all I know, she's a cougar who's probably bored stiff with that 72-year-old fossil she married years ago.

All kidding aside, Palin tells Dobson that she is "hardcore pro-life," and that her choice to keep her son Trig- who has Down syndrome- proves that "she walks the walk." I applaud Mrs. Palin for keeping Trig, sure, but I'm wondering if Trig knows what a nutcase his mother is. After all, she says that the Almighty Jehovah- don't say 'Allah'. It pisses Mrs. Palin off- will keep the Republicans in the White House for at least four years.

Of course, those sagging support numbers for McCain will go up. After all, Sarah Palin says so, because God's going to bring them up.

If that's the case, then I have a 4,000 mile causeway bridge to Hawaii to sell you.

(C)2008, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Powell Endorses Obama ( And Boy, Is McCain Pissed)

For the last three presidential elections, retired general and former Secretary of State (for the current administration) Colin Powell had endorsed republican candidates. after all, he's a Republican himself- though I'd have to say that a lot of his beliefs don't exactly fit the Republican mold. At any rate, today, he caused many a heart attack to his fellow GOP members when he made this announcement on NBC's Meet the Press:

NBC News/Talking Points Memo/YouTube

The Republicans can't be too happy about this. after all, this is the man who served and even led the Gulf War in the 1990s, under the elder President Bush. This is the man who the current president,the younger President Bush, chose as Secretary of State. I mean, come on, Colin, you're breaking our Republican hearts- and no one wants to see a big ass elephant cry (you see the tears on those pachyderms? Enough of those, you'd see a flood rivaling that of Noah's day...).

Barack Obama is humbled and pleased that Mr. Powell does have sense in his head. John McCain, however, must be crying in his whiskey in one of those seven(...or is it seventeen?)homes he owns. McCain says that while he respects Powell's decision, he wasn't too happy about this. In fact, McCain calls Powell's endorsement of Obama a "slap in the face."

Ouch. Poor Johnny. Did Colin make you cwy?

A PROGRAMMING NOTE: In the coming weeks, this blog- as well as the sister blogs The Trash Bash and The DWA Musings will feature audio commentary. Yes, you will hear my lovely voice. And if you're lucky, you may see my lovely face as well.

Then again, I only have a face for radio (or in this case, audio blog entries).

(C)2008 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Who Won the Debate?

C-SPAN/YouTube
I've watched last night's final presidential debate with interest. After all, the next four- possibly eight- years will pretty much put this country in the balance. For one thing, this economy has gone to shit, and to be honest, I share the feeling of many Americans that we're headed for a recession, if not a second Great Depression. Gas prices are high, families are struggling to make ends meet. And then, there's the War on Terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan. It doesn't make for a pretty picture, does it?

So, I took some notes, caught the comments of both candidates, Barack H. Obama, Jr., the Democratic candidate, and John S. McCain III, the republican.

One of the centerpieces of the debate was, of course, Obama's alleged ties to William Ayers, who was the leader of the Weather Underground Organization, a radical left-wing group who protested the war in Vietnam. They detonated bombs in the New York City Police Headquarters, the Pentagon and US Capitol in the early 1970s . Ayers was never charged with a crime. Obama says that there were never, and currently are not any times to Bill Ayers.

On the ACORN (Action of community Organizations for Reform Now) debacle, Obama says that the people who placed fictitious names- including one of some rodent invented by Walt Disney - were just lazy. Furthermore, Obama distanced himself from the ACORN mess. On energy policies, both candidates touted that we need to reduce- or even end- our dependence on foreign oil, and increase domestic production. McCain wants offshore drilling now; Obama wants it as an option.

On free trade, McCain chided Obama for rejecting the Colombia Free Trade Agreement, but Obama says that his reasons for rejecting CAFTA was because labor leaders in the Latin American country were targeted for assassination. He did approve the Peruvian Free Trade Agreement.

On health care, McCain alleges that Obama wants to fine people who don't want the government health care plan, but Obama says that he won't penalize people who don't want the option. Obama alleges that McCain wants to give insurers free rein against rules regulating them.

On abortion, McCain wants to overturn Roe V. Wade, and place the power back in the hands of states. Obama supports ban on late term abortions, with exceptions to the life of the mother. McCain states that he won't choose US Supreme Court justice candidates solely on abortion views.

But one name was mentioned 26 times- 'Joe Plumber'.

Joe Wurzelbacher is a plumber who lives in Holland, Ohio, a suburb of Toledo. Wurzelbacher confronted Obama about the latter's tax cut plan, stating that he, Wurzelbacher, planned to make over $250,000 and buy the business.

NYPost.com/YouTube/uwantbreadbai

Obama's tax credit would benefit Wurzelbacher, provided that he stays under $250,000.
But, is this a good idea? After all, I don't want to be taxed to death when I win $1,000,000 or more in the Oregon Lottery Megabucks jackpot. That's one of those things I disagree with Obama with. But since I make under $250,000, I'm safe for the time being. I like that he wants to give 95 percent of Americans a tax break, but I don't think millionaires and billionaires who worked hard for their success should be penalized either. That's just my opinion.

Having said this, I think that Obama did win the debate, and I say this on the basis that he didn't dodge the harder questions- the ACORN and Bill Ayers issues, and even the tax and health questions- McCain threw at him. So, it is up to him, over the remaining 19 days to continue to convince Americans that he's the right man for the job. At this point, this election is his to lose.

Don't screw it up, Barack.

(C)2008, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

I'm Black, and I'm Proud- And I'm Also a Republican

A disclaimer: the above title- not me. Yes, I'm black, and I'm proud- to be a Democrat.

But the gentlemen in the clip are proud to be Republican. and they're blacker than I am (okay, I guess at least one of them). And I find nothing wrong with that- due in part to the fact that twenty years ago, I was a Republican, enjoying Ronald Reagan's 'Morning in America'. Yes, some would say that things were filled with greed, and admittedly, we had the Cold War until Reagan and Gorbachev decided that we'd be better off friends. To paraphrase a line from the theme from TV's All in the Family, "Mister, we could use a man like Ronald Reagan again..."

Even as I am a Democrat these days, I still vote for the Republican candidate from time to time. This election- or any election, for that matter- and who you believe is the best leader in Washington, isn't about party loyalty. It's about being loyal to your heart by choosing who you believe will best represent us. I believe Obama will lead us out of the fire. Some of you may believe that John McCain is better. That's fine by me.

We have the freedom of choice. Something to be appreciated, no matter the political party you belong to.

(C)2008, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Burn, O.J., Burn

Justice is served- albeit thirteen years late.



Unconvicted murderer Orenthal James Simpson was found guilty of kidnapping and robbery, in addition to assault with a deadly weapon. He faces five years to life in prison when he is sentenced on December 5.

Say what you will, but a man of O.J.'s stature- Heisman trophy winner; superstar running back for the San Francisco 49ers and Buffalo Bills; mediocre actor; and Hertz spokesperson- should be basking in the limelight and glory. He should be signing autographs, and be among the most beloved football figures- past and present- in history. He should be doing endorsements for other products, and perhaps even a sports commentator- like he did once, doing color commentary for Monday Night Football when it was on ABC. The mighty and great O.J. Simpson should be considered one of the gods of the football world.

But my, how the mighty have fallen indeed. And I'm afraid that on June 12, 1994- when he apparently killed his former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman- he did. Oh, sure, a jury in the criminal case found him not guilty, but the jury in the subsequent civil trial said otherwise, ordering him to pay $33 Million (USD) to the Brown and Goldman families. O.J., knowing that he was no longer the beloved sports figure, was desperate- writing a book that changed my mind about his innocence; doing infomercials, and that joke of a series Juiced (a knockoff of MTV's Punk'd).

But never before have I thought that even the Juice would go so damn low depths, robbing and assaulting someone. All because he wanted his Heisman trophy back. I ask, "Why, O.J., why?"

Burn O.J., burn.

(C)MMVIII, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.