Victoria, Victoria...VICtoria!

Last night, I spent the night with this woman., Victoria. She's 56, even though she looks like she's 35 to 40, and would probably look younger if not for the fact that she's carrying extra weight (she's somewhere in the 220s-230s. I did notice that she lost some weight, so there's hope for her yet...).

This woman is pretty sexually active, and she's...Well, I won't say afraid, but she says that she wasnts to settle down. Have someopne in her life that will stay through hell and high water. I'm afraid, however, that even as I'm on the cusp of 40, I won't be that person (that's another subject for another day...).

Now, I did finger her pussy- she seemed to have gotten hot over that, but when it came to cock to cunt action...Eh-eh! No can do on that. Now, I'll admit that the past times I've been with her- about three or four times altogether, things have been left much to be desired. But last night, I believe that I've done everything I could to make things very heated, very passionate- after all, I thought that it what she wanted. But, nooooo. She says that I'm too rough...Too passionate. In other words, she's like Goldilocks- this one's too hot, this one's too cold. What happened to "just right", Goldie?

And then, there's other issues. I won't touch base on them all, but one that I will touch on is the fact that she's a bit too melachony. Too damn emotional, if you will. Sure, she wants to settle down, but if she doesn't get a handle on those demons, she may never get her shit together, and the man she desires may leave her- and it won't be his fault.

And then there's family. I've learned that she has a attachment to family- like almost everyone does. It's normal. But the thing here is that she's spent her life trying to please them. One thing I've learned is that even as I myself have a family- and believe it or not, I love them, though it's been about 5-7 years since I've last kept in touch with them- that I'm my own man. After all, I have dreams, desires...wants, needs. Many things I'd love to accomplish before leaving planet Earth (hopefully on the Starship Enterprise, as opposed to riding in a hearse), and some of those things will not make my dear ol' mum happy (hell, she wasn't exactly pleased when I came out as a bisexual 11 years ago. Of course, I've since moved my sexual preference to strictly women, which means that I'm straight, or heterosexual...), but she can't stop my dreams from coming true. Vic, on the other hand, whether she wants to believe this or no, let hers dictate her life. I know she loves her family, and in particular, her recently departed mom. But now's the time to leave the shadow of family and be her own person. It's not too late, even as she's 56.

Family should stay in our lives, but they shouldn't dictate how we choose to live.

I('m Beginning to) Love New York

I know I told you this story before, but I just. Cant. Help. Myself. but to mention it again.

About nine years ago, I came into Portland, Oregon in part because it had a reputation of being one of the friendliest places on the planet. You know, kind of a Disneyland for progressives and other weirdos. Where a wealthy person would treat a less fortunate person with dignity and respect. Where interracial love abounded- believe me, I dated white and native American women (I don't remember dating any black women here)- and no one would raise so much of a fuss. And a big plus, Oregon had no sales tax.

Well, all the above still exists (take note, Wood Village! NO SALES TAXES!), but on a lesser scale when it comes to being one of the friendliest cities on the planet. Ever since I returned from New Orleans three years ago, the natives are becoming fewer, and people from California have arrived and are now attempting to do what they did in California- muck things up! Don't get me wrong, California's a gorgeous state. Even Los Angeles makes my heart go aflutter. But those California types have moved up here, bringing their smog and snobbery here to Portland, and now I'm thinking about leaving Portland again- albeit temporarily.

Make that working on leaving good ol' Moscow on the Willamette.

Now, granted, New York has a reputation- however undeserved- of being a mean ol' place. Sure, I don't think I'll venture into the Bronx at night anytime soon (unless, of course, I attend a Yankees game. So, people from Bronx, tell me why I should visit you guys after hours, and I'll consider...). But after the 9/11/01 attacks, New Yorkers seem to have this attitude that...I don't know, seems to have humbled them a bit. I mean, don't get me wrong, the Big Apple is still tough as nails, as it should, but they natives seem to have an openness to visitors and everyone else.

So, right now, I'm in the beginning stages of making the eastward move to New York. While there, I'll take an eight-week filmmaking workshop course at New York Film Academy, and I may even stick around for a blizzard or heavy snowstorm, or two (I'll have one or two hotties cuddled by the fire, keeping ME warm). Then, by the time I return to Portland- and yes, I'm returning. I love Portland too much to let some nasty varmint from California chase me away- I'll be very proficient in filmmaking, and I may even do a shoot or two here in Amsterdam/Moscow/Havana on the Willamette.

Or, if the folks in the Big Apple seduce me enough, I just might stay there and say "to hell with Portland!"

Portland, I'm yours to lose.

Online Dating...It's the Mystery That Kills Ya

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Connie...Don't Quit Your Day Job (Wait...You Don't Have One Anymore)

Okay, I don't know if I should call this comedy, or pathetic attempts at it. But, as a lot of you now know, Connie Chung was- and I put great emphasis on that word- one of broadcast TV's brightest stars (Then again, so was Dan Rather, but that was before he decided to start a Texas shootout with the current Commancder in Chief on the now defunct 60 Minutes II. It must be noted that she and Dan attempted a Harry-and- Barbara gig some 13 years ago...just like Mr. Reasoner- Lord rest his soul- and Ms. Walters, the pairing didn't exact have the late Peter Jennings or Tom Brokaw running for the hills).

So...I don't know what to say here except...perhaps the Las Vegas Hilton should reconsider that contract they signed with Mrs. Maury Povich.

One question, Maury...given the fact that you two- on occasion- take showers together (let alone romantic baths), is she a better singer in the shower?

Hmmm...just asking.

Awarded for Bad Judgment

Today, two African-Americans in position of leadership learned of their fates.

Here in Moscow on the Willamette- otherwise know as Portland, Oregon- Portland Police Bureau chief Derrick Foxworth got demoted from chief back to the rank of captain.

And in Washington, DC, US Representative Cynthia McKinney got off scot free for slapping a US Capitol Police officer in march. A grand jury declined to indict her on charges of assaulting a police officer. See the full story at http://www.wsbtv.com/politics/9384596/detail.html .

Now, as many of you know, I'm African-American. And as such, you would think that I would sympathize with these two. After all, they're black like me.

Sorry to disappoint you. I'm not even going there with that 'race card' shit.

First, in the case of Foxworth, as you know by now, he faced charges of sexual harassment from a civilian desk clerk, Angela Oswalt. Both Oswalt and Foxworth acknowledged that they had a sexual relationship- even as the latter was married. An investigation found that Foxworth did not create a hostile work environment, etc, but it did find that Foxworth used poor judgment when he told Oswalt about some confidential police bureau business. The mayor of Portland, Tom Potter (I don't know why I even voted for him, to be honest...) decided that Foxworth should be demoted back to the rank of captain, hence keeping Foxworth in a position of command.

Look, apparently Foxworth abused his position- bad judgment, my ass! Oswalt hurt her case by not revealing any more e-mails that could have brought Foxworth down. He could've been terminated, or forced to resign his duties not only as chief of police, but also as a Portland Police officer as well. As Foxworth was collecting his checks for three to four months of work he didn't do, Potter could have said, "look, we've found many acts of conduct unbecoming a police officer- let along police commander (which Foxworth was before he became chief). Instead, Potter basically gave Foxworth a slap on the wrist with a scalding hot wet noodle- almost not unlike what my mother would do to my oldest sister Renee when she acted up (except she didn't use a hot wet noodle). Mom would slap Renee lightly on the hand and say, "no-no, Nee-nee" (Renee would repeat those light slaps on herself...cute at the time...Only substitute "Foxworth" for "Nee-nee"...). Foxworth remains a police officer in position of power, even as his reputation has been tarnished. (For the full investigation report, just click here to http://www.katu.com/news/images/story2006/060616complete_report.pdf ).

Now on to one of everybody's favorite race baiting figures, the US House Representative, the Dishonorable Ms. Cynthia McKinney(D-Georgia). Now, no doubt, she's no stranger to controversy. In fact, I almost have to say that she invites it by just walking in the room. Back in March- coincidentally around the time the Foxworth sexual harassment story broke- Rep. McKinney ran past a security post at the US Capitol. A US Capitol police officer instructed her to stop- three times. The officer restrained her. She gave him one across the kisser. Next thing you know, "he called me a 'nigger'(okay, so she didn't actually say this, but you have to consider who I'm talking about here...)...It's hard to be a black woman in power...yada, yada, ack! ack!..."

Today, the DC Grand jury decided not to indict Rep. McKinney for doing the equivalent of what Zsa Zsa Gabor did to a Beverly Hills cop about 20 years ago. Shows what money and power can do (for the record, Zsa Zsa did spend a short time in the pokie...No doubt with fountain spa, and chocolate covered strawberries, and that stupid little mutt in her arms...movie stars!).

What this amounts to in both cases is being awarded for just fucking up. Foxworth still holds a position of power, even as he's no longer police chief. McKinney keeping her freedom (and probably her House of Representatives seat- unless Georgia voters wisely give her a thank you note when she's up for re-election). I hate to make comparisons, but these actions are almost just as bad as letting Michael Jackson- a whack job if I ever saw one- off for being a goddamned pedophile.

When you're in positions of power- be it the President of the United States; chief/superintendent of a police department; or at any given occupational workplace, even if you're the fucking Almighty, you're held to a higher standard, and if you can't- or outright refuse to- act responsibly in that position, if you outright abuse that power, then it must be taken away from you. You're held accountable for whatever actions you make. If you prove untrustworthy, dishonest, etc., then I suggest that you'd step aside and let someone who has values, morals, and common sense take over.

How to Rob a Store- While Topless

In Kansas City, Kansas, a woman tried to steal money from the cash register at a convenience mart.

Instead, she lost her shirt instead.

She got away with three lousy bucks- and her tits flopping for all to see.

Man, I wish I was in the store to see that...perhaps she should've just taken off the shirt, then demanded the cash. I'm pretty sure that the store clerl would've acquiesed.

Bob "Flippo" Marvin- An Appreciation

Updated April 4, 2007
WBNS-TV, Columbus, Ohio/YouTube

About a couple weeks ago, I talked about the passing of Cleveland children's TV icon, Linn Sheldon. He played many characters, namely Barnaby the Elf on WEWS and WUAB in Cleveland. I remember watching him on cable in Columbus, and enjoying his antics.

So, it is with deep sadness that I write about the passing of another childhood icon from my youth. This time, this really hurts and I find it very difficult writing this, for this really hits close to home, not to mention my heart. But I'll do my best.

For over 50 years, Bob Marvin- born Marvin W. Fishman on January 6, 1927 in Cleveland- has entertained children- and adults alike as one character, Flippo, the King of Clowns. Every afternoon, on WBNS 10TV, the CBS affiliate in Columbus would host this show, The Early Show. This was in the days when local TV stations would show old movies (mostly comedies. After all, mom and dad had a hard day at work, and us kids had it hard at school as well). Flippo was the cure for what ailed us. With his corny jokes, and antics, plus games that the whole family would enjoy, Flippo was the jack of all trades- and to our delight, master of almost none of them.

I can recall back in the early 1970s, as a child, my family went to the Ohio State Fair- one of the largest in the country. If I'm correct, we didn't get to see the character in person, but we did get an autographed picture of him, which for a 4 or 5-year-old (at the time) was plenty enough.

Bob Marvin was more than the character of Flippo. He was a very accomplished jazz saxophonist who played in clubs around Columbus. He served in the Army after high school, and came to Columbus in 1947 to study optometry. But his first love- music- won out (imagine the eye doctor dressed up as a clown in a blue jumpsuit with white pom-pom balls...).

There was this hotel, the Neil House (since torn down. It was on the corner of Broad and High in the city center). Bob would entertain the folks, and it was where a 10TV producer discovered him. In 1952, the Ward bread company needed a clown for a Saturday morning show 10TV did. Marvin answered the call, and for thirty-one years, he would play the role with relish. He did sketches and sang for this show called Tip Top Bandwagon. Then, in 1957, due to his enormous popularity, he was given his own show, Flippo's Big Show. In 1962, The Early Show premiered. WBNS staffers would stop what they were doing just so they could watch the show. During its' 15 year run, The Early Show would show old John Wayne movies, and some comedies. In between, Flippo would do comedy skits, or do plugs for this local piano shop, Durthaler's. His end line in the commercials- often live, since The Early Show would air live- would be "Come see my pal, Dale Durthaler, at Durthaler's. At the end of each episode of The Early Show, right before Eyewitness News (or as it was called back in the 1970s, Eyewitness 90, because the 6:00PM edition would air, followed by CBS Evening News With Walter Cronkite at 6:30, then the 7:00PM edition of Eyewitness News), he would deliver his signature line, Keep smiling, and don't fight.

He also hosted a cable show on Qube cable- those of us from Columbus know what it is (for the rest of the country, Qube was...unique, with interactive shows, with this box viewers would use to vote. I don't have time to explain Qube fully)- previewing what movies were showing on pay-per-view that month.

Marvin would retire the role of Flippo in 1983, only to do an occasional appearance. His final public appearance was January of this year at the Ohio Historical Society building. He donated his Flippo costume to the museum January 5, and celebrated his 79th birthday the day after.

Marvin died June 10.

Thank you, Flippo, for the laughter ,and the joy you've brought to millions of us. You were truly a Columbus institution (even if you did decide to be the eye doctor, we'd still love you). As the late (London-born Clevelander) Bob Hope would sing, "Thanks for the memories."

Marvin Fishman, known professionally as Bob Marvin, will be sadly missed, but Flippo will be with us forever. He will always "The King of Clowns".

For more on the remarkable man behind the clown, go to http://www.flippotheclown.com

In the above video, you'll see a message on how to get the DVD Remembering Flippo, The King of the Clowns from WBNS. Just go to 10tv.com for details. The proceeds go to the station's Family Fund, which has helped Central Ohio families for many years.

Copyright 2006, 2007 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Recepcion a New Orleans

Back in the 1700s, the Spanish ruled Louisiana. Even New Orleans.

Now, thanks to a vicious hurricane named Katrina, it looks like the Spanish re-invasion has begun.

Thanks to Katrina, the predominantly black population has drastically dwindled- and even as New Orleans becomes more whiter (and richer...Thanks, Halliburton!), it looks like another group has decided to...shall I say, wear out the welcome mat.

Soon, if New Orleans isn't careful, it'll face the same problem we here in the West are facing now. Up to now, Louisiana- and most of the South (Florida notwithstanding)- was pretty much immune to the illegal immigration crisis. But now, it looks like the Big Easy has more of a reason to become a bit of a Big Uneasy, as illegals- mostly from Mexico and other Central American nations- make themselves at home.

Sure, the help was appreciated from the Mexican Navy and Army- and I won't discount that. But now, some of them decide that it'll be a very Big Easy life for them- after all, New Orleans' cost of living was always low (despite that ingrown hair in the ass 9% sales tax- 10% if you shop in the French Quarter). And until Katrina decided to turn N'Awlins into a virtual no-man's land in parts of the city, life was pretty vibrant.

So, unless anybody (in the city I've spent two years in) wants to hear and see mariachis on Bourbon Street- as opposed to sweet jazz and blues music (not that there's anything wrong with mariachi music. I love it. But it just doesn't seem right in a city with so much soul, so much jazz...the home of blues music), something's has to be done about the illegal aliens problem. ANd it has to be done, right now!

Mayor Nagin, the voters have given you a second chance. Make this one count by dealing with the illegals, right now. If you don't do anything, soon, you'll find your already cash-strapped city in shit deeper than Lake Ponchartrain; the Mississippi River; Lake Bourgne; and the Gulf of Mexico combined.

1970s Toy Commercials

For those of us growing up in the 1970s- such as this blogger, for one- toy commercials were very prevalent. Just as we waited for, say "The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show", or "Hong Kong Phooey" (betcha can't sing the theme to that, can ya?..."Hong Kong Phooey/Number One superstar..."come on now!).

Well, on iFilm, there is this brief montage- about 7 minutes altogether- of toy commercials I, and countless of others who grew up in the 1970s drooled over, begging our parents to get those toys.

Just click on the title, and enjoy.

Oh My! The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling! Macy's Drops Gay Display

I knew there was a reason why I didn't want to come home (to Portland...I spent three days at a retreat in nearby Molalla, Oregon).

It appears that Macy's- the national store chain that's about to yank the Meier & Frank name from Portland area stores so it could add its' own- has bowed to pressure from this Chicken Little group called MassResistance (you can look at their blog at http://www.massresistance.blogspot.com, though I don't even know why I'm giving these jokers any more publicity than they've already deserve). In a Boston area Macy's, the store had a display of a male mannequin wearing the rainbow flag. Apparently, some members of MassResistance got offended, and told Macy's to take it down. Macy's acquiesed.

I know you've heard this before, but it bears repeating that these assholes- MassResistance- believes in free speech and freedom of expression. Just like the rest of us. But when something offends them- such as the guy mannequin wearing a symbol of gay/lesbian pride, they cry like little bitty babies. I mean, come on, I'm not bitching about their oppostion to same sex marriage, which is legal in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, but telling a branch of a national store chain to take down a display just because it so happens to piss the pants off of them...eh-eh! That's gone a little bit too far.

Look, people, if it offends you, look away. change the channel. Shop someplace else. Macy's been around for over 125 years. You think a group of crybaby radicals is going to bring Macy's- or any other Federated-owned chain down?

Macy's in Boston, put the display back up.

MassResistance, go cry in your beer...oh, I forgot, you're good 'Christians'. You don't drink beer. Well, there's always spilled milk.

The Crooks...and the Liars who Love Them

I think someone told me about this website about a week ago- thanks...damn, what's his name...excuse me...Dave, that's his name (he's writing a book on the media and politics. Thanks, Dave...). It's "Crooks and Liars", and it talks about the geeks in politics who happen to lie to the American people (and just think, I was leaning toward conservatism. Everytime that happens, those conservatives I begin to admire piss me off...still, I won't return to complete liberalism...).

In May, CNN's Jack Cafferty tore a new one into the Republican Senate Leader Bill Frist on his move to introduce a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage (which, to be honest, as most conservatives agree on it, it has absolutely ZERO chance of passing).

I have a question. What's the big fuss about two people of the same sex wanting to get married anyway? I mean...don't we have much more important things to deal with- like the War on Terrorism in Iraq and Afghanistan? And another thing, apparently having a gay or lesbian serve in uniform is a serious threat to national security. I mean, look, if you're openly gay or lesbian- or bisexual- and you want to serve, you shouldn't be stopped at the door. Still, as long as our military bans gays, lesbians, bisexual, and transgendered people from serving, at least I- a heterosexual male- still have the trump card to keep those recruiters from forcing me to fight a war I still don't completely agree with. (Besides, I'm almost 40. I'm too old to be a recruit- let alone a draftee- anyway...).