Naughty Photos Get Man In Deep Ca-Ca

Two years ago, Paul Poupart took a few pictures of a young woman named Jessica- who was drunk- posed on a Jefferson Parish, Louisiana Sheriff cruiser. In the presence was a sheriff's deputy, Steve Higgerson, of the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office. And now, Poupart is in deep shit with the Sheriff, citing the allegation that Poupart had set Higgerson up. But Poupart says that Higgerson never told Jessica to get off the car, and never warned Poupart to stop taking pictures from his cell phone camera. But still, the sheriff's office wants to put Poupart in jail over the pictures.

Am I missing something here? A man takes provocative photos of his drunk female friend, posing with legs spread wide open on a police cruiser, and a deputy just fucking stand there. And the office wants the photographer behind bars because it thinks that the guy is trying to, say, blackmail them or act in retaliation. I'm not getting this. The way I'm seeing this is that the whole damn matter needs to be left alone. The man did nothing wrong- otherwise Deputy Higgerson would have arrested Poupart when Poupart first took the pictures. In other words, the sheriff's office is run by a bunch of paranoid idiots, who obviously have a lot of time on their hands- even as they're in a large metropolitan area.

Click on the title for the story from WDSU News Channel 6.

(C) 2009 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Never Eat After Committing a Burglary

Hey, all you burglars and home invaders out there, when you get done burglarizing somebody's home, don't stick around to stuff your faces. Or you'll face the same fate that Thomas Allen Wilcox is facing now.

On Tuesday of this week, Wilcox broke into a house, raped a woman and- in a brilliant act of machismo- threatened to sexually assault the woman's six-year-old daughter as well.

As heinous as this crime was, Wilcox's next crime will go down as hilarious and dumb. After attacking the woman, Wilcox ate an entire roasted chicken the woman left for her fiance, then ran off (with the woman's laptop computer in tow) when the fiance arrived home. The fiance called police at around 2:30 AM, and gave police a good description of Wilcox. Wilcox was apprehended a half hour later by Lt. John Smith, of the Portland Police, who drove in an unmarked car. Of course, Wilcox denied having committed any crime, but Smith noticed the dangling laptop cord from Wilcox's pocket (the laptop was found in a nearby bush).

But here's the proof of the stupidity of Mr. Wilcox. Remember the roasted chicken he ate? Well, he puked it up while in custody.

Wilcox faces a laundry list of charges: three counts of first degree burglary, one count each of first degree rape, first degree sodomy, attempted first degree sodomy, first degree robbery, and first degree theft. What makes this story even better is the fact that his DNA is in the state database, since he has prior convictions for theft, arson, criminal trespass, and sale of marijuana.

My, what a fucking smart man this Tommy Wilcox is.

Click on the title for the story from OregonLive.com. Also watch this story at: http://www.kgw.com/video/index.html?nvid=386774&shu=1
(C) 2009 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Tree Robs Bank

In Manchester, New Hampshire, a man decided- as he drank coffee at a park by Lake Massabesic- that he would rob a bank.

So, he got some duct tape; a few branches; and went to a Manchester area bank and robbed it.

A guy disguised as a tree robbing a bank. One, when I looked at the video, his disguise obviously wasn't a very good one. Plus, if I were this joker robbing that bank, I would've at least used a mask (apparently his eyesight's not that good...).

49-year-old James Coldwell was arrested Saturday night and was held on $10,000 bail.

Next time, Jimbo, use a mask.

I have the link to the story from Manchester's ABC station, WMUR News 9. Just click on the title.

Copyright 2007, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.

Man Tries To Bribe Court Clerk- With Beer!

Just as I was getting more on the missing- and now presumed dead Ohio pregnant woman, I came across the news out of the St. Louis area of a more hilarious nature (I need a good laugh, given the tragic death of Jessie Marie Davis and her unborn female child).

Laron Williams, 29, was charged with driving without a license, so he was arrested (he later posted $2500 bail). Later that night (on June 13), Williams- and his girlfriend, Rebbecca Bryket, 25, went to the home of court clerk Verita Darden, where Williams allegedly offered Darden some Bud Select beer, in exchange of Darden's losing, or getting rid, of his court files.

Darden reported the incident to her supers, and now Williams and Bryket are charged with bribery of a public official. If convicted, he faces up to four years in the pokey.

Man, WHAT A DUMBASS! Trying to bribe someone is bad enough, but also trying to get them liquored up? At least, you could've tried, maybe, sexual seduction here (I'm pretty sure that Becky wouldn't mind being in a threesome, if it would've meant making your files disappear...) But, man! This guy really is stupid!

Copyright 2007, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.