Turning 40- Chapter Two

Today, I turn 40. Yes, I'm still alive- though a bit blue from eating all of those blueberries a friend give me. I can still run up stairs, though my left ankle's still crying a bit (I almost twisted it the other night). I still have a slight case of neuroses- had to babysit the group I'm in (I'll explain in due time). Other than that, I'm holding up fine, thank you.

Now that I'm in the beginning stages of middle age, a few realities become inevitable for me:

1. The words of my uncle Jerry return to haunt me: When I was 18, Jerry told me that the next 10 yeasrs of my life would go fast. Of course, I was in twelfth grade and attending Mifflin High at the time. Ten years later, I was living with the woman- a four-foot-ten version of the Marvel comics villain Kingpin who would later become my wife (and subsequently, ex-wife). Now it's time for yet another roller coaster ride as the trip from July 31, 2007 and July 31, 2017 has begun.

2. This skinny frame is about to turn into Jell-O(R): I began to feel this at 38- or was it 36?... anyway...I've been nearly supermodel thin my entire life. It's been both a compliment and a curse (A compliment because I've haven't yet met an early grave. A curse, because I could stand a bit more sculpt and bulk. Which is why I'll soon be hitting the Bowflex(R)).
Well, Big Al, kiss the Cindy Crawford body 'buh-bye'.Sure, I'll still exercise and do a bit more biking. But it's inevitable that soon those chocolate bars and Pepsi(R) colas will hit my gut and my hips. Not that anything's wrong with that. Just keep the food intake under control and keep active, d'Artagnan, and you'll do fine.

3. My sex drive may- or may not- head south: It's a sad reality that strikes a lot of us guys in our 30s and 40s- our testosterone levels start going down, down, down.

Talk about a midlife crisis!

Sure, I'll still be able to make a few babies, but I may need a bit of help from those three ED (erectile dysfunction) pills- Viagra; Levitra; and Cialis. Of course, a bit of exercise helps, too.

4. You're Gonna Stick That Finger Where, Doc?:

(from Family Guy)
haylaah/YouTube/Fox

Inquiry: Is it 40 or 45 that us black guys supposed to get our prostates checked? Anyway, I'm about at the age where I have to- gasp- undergo a few prostate exams. Yes, it may feel like what Peter's doctor has done to Peter (according to Peter, of course. But, I'll have to side with Lois and the doc there, Pete. Sorry, pal...). But it's one of those necessary evils of life. Just like having a cardiologist; insurance agent...it gets creepy, kids. Believe me.

Of course, going back to my eating habits, I'm afraid that it's more roughage in my diet...

smctrixie/YouTube
Those Quaker Oats commercials used to crack me up...less Coke and Pepsi, and less Chee-Tos and Lay's, and more salads, veggies, and fruits (though I still won't touch prunes or prune juice. I Won't! I Won't! I WON'T! I'm still not touching Vienna sausage, either. Hated it as a kid. Still hate it now).

Well, here's to my forties. I look forward to the next ten years, as I undergo changes in my life. Hopefully, it won't be too painful.

Copyright 2007, by Darren w. Alexander
All Rights Reserved.