The Threat to the Black Race: Being Gay or Lesbian

A little over a week ago, former NBA star, John Amaechi, came out as a gay man. He mentions this in a forthcoming book Man in the Middle, which will be released this month by ESPN Books.

Wednesday, former Miami Heat guard Tim Hardaway mentioned on Miami sports station WAXY-AM that he "hates gay people." He later apologized for the remark.

Of course, not too long ago, Grey's Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington called co-star TR Knight a "faggot" after the latter came out as gay. Washington has since apologized, and is going through therapy.

There is this longstanding animosity toward being gay and lesbian in the black community. After all, there is the 'on the down low' bit with 'brothas' secretly sleeping with men, while at the same time, putting on the facade of being the straight- and oftentimes homophobic- boyfriend or husband. And of course, there's the religious aspect. What with Biblical scriptures in the Old Testament book of Leviticus, and New Testament book of 1 Corinthians, there's that fear of going to hell, or being denied living forever on a paradise Earth. In many cases, when the truth eventually comes out, marriages, engagements, and family relationships are destroyed. All because when the person comes out, the family disowns her/him.
It's also this denial of one's sexual orientation that plays a part in this clash of race and sexual preference.

I know firsthand of this. About 12 years ago, when I considered myself bisexual, I told my mother, who is a Jehovah's Witness. She told me that she'll love me, but she won't like me. That, to me, meant that she didn't love me for what I was at the time. And, of course, when I married Mary in May 1997, she said openly to both Mary and myself that she was glad that I wasn't "one of those freaks." (I've since declared myself heterosexual, or straight. But when Mary and I split up three months later, I had continued seeing people of both sexes. The jumping back and forth bit ended about seven years ago. And I decided that I was straight without the help of those so-called 'ex-gay' ministries, and I sure as hell didn't have my dear mother's help in the matter...sorry for the soliloquy...).

Until we in the African-American community address this issue- hopefully, in a more civilized manner- this will continue to be an issue that stays on hair trigger alert.
Until we in the community can embrace our family members as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, I'm afraid that this could further strain relations between the LGBT and black community- and possibly destroy the black community from within.

Copyright 2007, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.