Requiem for Jody Lance Keener; Paris Utters the 'N' and 'F'-Bombs

Sometimes people can be so damn stupid. I'll talk about two of them. One you don't know, but he deserves to be picked on nonetheless. The other, a well known socialite who is an heiress to an upscale hotel chain.

JODY KEENER: HE'S ONLY MEAN WHEN HE DRINKS
I have a friend here in Portland, Oregon by the name of Jody Lance Keener. He's a couple years younger than myself, but in some respects, may be mistaken for being slightly older. The reason so is because he constantly drinks to excess. Two incidents over the last year may have sealed his fate- or rather, one particular incident which I'll touch base on in a moment.

Last summer, Jody was hospitalized for liver problems, I think (I'll have to ask him again). He almost died. And it probably would have been better had he met his maker than to have done what I'll talk about next.

Last November or December, Jody was drunk- as usual. Now, he may growl a bit, get a little boisterous, but usually not harm anyone physically.

This particular night was different.

Now to set up this story, I must mention this place called the Julia West House. JWH is an outreach arm of the First Presbyterian Church here in Portland, and is the home of Operation: Daywatch and Operation: Nightwatch. Both offer hospitality for the homeless and poor, and operates about six days a week (Daywatch Monday- Wednesday, and Friday; and Nightwatch on Thursday- Saturday). Nightwatch also does monthly outings to places around Oregon and Southwest Washington. Until this incident, Jody would hang with myself and others, and would benefit from the services both Daywatch and Nightwatch would offer. A woman by the name of Sarah* is the director of Nightwatch, and she's a very spiritual woman- she doesn't watch TV, hardly keeps up with current events. In other words, her own private Mayberry, if you will.

But one night- a Friday, in fact- last November or December (I forgot exactly when), Jody was drunk- again, as usual. Jody got out of control- as he's apt to do sometimes- and from that point, things got very ugly.

Sarah tried to get Jody under control, even him ordered to leave.

Jody struck Sarah in the face, then ran out of JWH to Southwest 13th.

About two weeks later, he was arrested and charged.

Recently, he pled no contest to assault in the fourth degree, a Class A misdemeanor (reference: http://www.leg/state.or.us/99orlaws/sess1000.dir/1073ses.html ). Jody's facing a year in lockup, but Sarah may ask for more. I don't know.

Jody's sentencing is next Monday at the Multnomah County Courthouse or the Multnomah County Justice Center. I may attend the hearing. If so, I'll give you the closing details on Jody.

PARIS, PARIS, PARIS! SHE'S ONLY RACIST AND HOMOPHOBIC WHEN SHE DRINKS: Paris Hilton. What hasn't that bitch done? Parties like there's no tomorrow; doesn't wear underwear (why am I not around when she's sans underwear? Damn!). Drives drunk. She probably ate her chihuahua Tinkerbell in one of her all night benders (I pray for little Bit Bit).

Well, true believers, while acts of jackassery from Paris may not be so unusual, the following may keep the African-American and gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender communities away from the Hilton family of Hotels for quite awhile.

On the Black America Web and Eurweb websites, there exists a story on Ms. Hilton- and her slightly saner younger sisiter Nicky- attending a house party. The incident was videotaped by a partygoer. In the tape, both sisters allegedly called a male dancer a "faggot". Then, about 3 minutes into this video, Paris approaches the camera and says "We're like two niggers," as she laughs. Obviously, that'll do wonders for that recently rekindled friendship with Nicole Ritchie.

Then at about 3:55 (three minutes, fifty-five seconds), she vents about a run-in with a woman at a party. She refers the woman as a "fuckin' hoodlum, broke, poor bitch from, like, Compton..."

Click on the title for the full story. (Note: the video was removed from YouTube due to terms of use violation).

Sure, we must forgive both parties for their actions, but both must realize that they are accountable for their actions. Jody Keener says he doesn't remember that night when he struck Sarah- and it's very possible that he blacked out when he struck her. And when people who are chemically dependent are blacked out, they oftentimes don't remember what happened. Still, it's no excuse what he did last fall. As for Paris, she's young, sure, and her partying habits have been known for sometime. I can't exactly let her off the hook for uttering racist and homophobic language, but considering her crazy little shenanigans, none of us should be even surprised. After all, she'll likely apologize, say that she was drunk, and go into rehab- only to go on her next bender next weekend.

What would we expect from a bratty, helium-voiced upscale hotel heiress?

*not her real name. The name has been given an alias to protect the identity of the woman.

Copyright 2007, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.