I'll Go For a Long-Term Relationship (Just Don't Expect To Move Into My Place, nor Expect Me to Say 'I Do' Again)

Ten years ago, as I've mentioned several times, I got married on the 23rd floor of the Franklin County Courthouse in Columbus, Ohio.

Just as quickly as that marriage began, it had ended. When she threw me out, I packed my bags west to Portland, Oregon (via Cincinnati).

Of course, the woman I've talked a bit about, the ex-wife, Mary ( in earlier entries, named under the alias of 'Leah') is now dead. She's been dead for several years. End of discussion there.

Now, when I married Mary, I was in no fucking way ready for a marriage. After all, I was still sowing my wild oats- at the time with members of both sexes- and what not. When she kicked me out, it was a celebration galore! No more fights OR arguments. Just me, and the open road from there on out!

The thing here is the fact that I'm never, never, NEVER EVER getting married again. Sure, I'll go for a long term cohabitation, but if she's starts pressuring me to give her an engagement ring, well, all I can say is "don't let the door smack you on the ass on your way out." (I could throw her off the balcony, but I doubt very seriously the DA or the judge will accept 'fear of commitment' as a defense in a court of law...). I tried the marriage bit. It doesn't work for me! The idea of being tied down to one woman 'til death do us part is a little unsettling for me. And divorce these days, costly (even for Donald Trump. And with bankruptcy laws being stringent these days, suicide may seem like the more pleasant alternative after all...).

Besides, I like the flexibility cohabitation- or in some states, common-law marriage- has. Besides the fact that both can jump out anytime they want, they can also see other people if it's not working out (of course, this helps if the cohabiting couple have their own places of residences. Otherwise, things could get pretty damn sticky). And not having that noose of marriage- let alone engagement- strangling me means that, that means that I don't have to hold account to anyone, anything, anyhow!

Besides, if it doesn't work out, there's always dating different women- even be like Hugh Hefner and have numerous girlfriends at once (Of course, I'd probably need the equivalent of Hugh's bank account, but what the hell! I was never the one-woman type anyway). Now THAT I can work with!

Copyright 2007, by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.