Monday 5/2/2011 1:54:12 PM/13:54:12 PDT:
"Yep, He's Dead Alright"
Photo: Hamid Mir. Text: Darren Alexander
Poor Osama bin Laden. Even a fortress of his own building couldn't protect his pussy ass. One of the most evil terrorists ever to disgrace planet Earth was killed last night. Yeah, he went down fighting in a blaze of glory, but he used one of his wives as a human shield (that wife is very happy with him, no doubt...)
Someone said that the files have to be declassified, and let the video be seen. I have to agree with this, and when the time is appropriate, I would love to see how it was all done, and hear from the people who performed the raid on him. Oh, just picture this: the bastard sitting down eating whatever the hell he was eating...or perhaps he was getting a blow job from one of his wives. Who knows? All I can say is when those helicopters went down, and the Navy SEALS and CIA people did their home invasion heard around the globe, he tried to make his escape. But a bullet in the eye took care of that, didn't it?.
There is this saying "Be careful for what you ask for. You just might get it." Only, I doubt that the 72 faces greeting him are angels, let alone virgins. In fact, I'm, like, picturing him...no, let's go into the depth of hell to hear this conversation.
INT. HELL
ADOLF HITLER and SADDAM HUSSEIN sit on the stump.
A flame hits Adolf on the ass. Of course, 'Dolfie screams like the little bitch that he was when he ran Germany into the ground in World War II.
The newest resident, OSAMA BIN LADEN waltzes in, and slumps down between Adolf and Saddam.
OSAMA: I don't believe this. I was supposed to be greeted by 72 virgins. Sure the bitches looked fine, and man, you should have seen this one. I couldn't tear myself from her. But now--
Osama scratches his nads. He also notices a couple warts near the shaft of his penis.
SADDAM (to Osama): How did that work out, infidel?
OSAMA (to Saddam): Who you calling infidel? At least I didn't fuck a country in the ass.
SADDAM (to Osama): Oh yeah? At least I didn't try to turn Islam into some twisted cult. And what's with this name al-Qaida anyway? For all I know, you probably insult the beloved Muhammad with that name. (to Adolf, gesturing to Osama) You know what he did? He goes to New York, knocks down the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, and America brings a jihad against me. ME! At least I didn't hide my face when I did my dirt.
Osama rolls up his sleeve and shakes his fist.
OSAMA: Why you--
HITLER (to Osama): What are you sweinhunds bitching about, ? At least the women you got were better than the ones I got stuck with.. (Gestures at Saddam) And this...this dumbkopf! He smells and whimper like one of those fat cows who never heard of feminine wash--
OSAMA and SADDAM (unison): Oh shut up.
Adolf shoves Osama, who kicks Saddam...who punches Adolf.
It's safe to say that we have a nice little brouhaha here, folks.
DARREN (V.O.): And so it goes.
Copyright 2011 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.
"Yep, He's Dead Alright"
Poor Osama bin Laden. Even a fortress of his own building couldn't protect his pussy ass. One of the most evil terrorists ever to disgrace planet Earth was killed last night. Yeah, he went down fighting in a blaze of glory, but he used one of his wives as a human shield (that wife is very happy with him, no doubt...)
Someone said that the files have to be declassified, and let the video be seen. I have to agree with this, and when the time is appropriate, I would love to see how it was all done, and hear from the people who performed the raid on him. Oh, just picture this: the bastard sitting down eating whatever the hell he was eating...or perhaps he was getting a blow job from one of his wives. Who knows? All I can say is when those helicopters went down, and the Navy SEALS and CIA people did their home invasion heard around the globe, he tried to make his escape. But a bullet in the eye took care of that, didn't it?.
There is this saying "Be careful for what you ask for. You just might get it." Only, I doubt that the 72 faces greeting him are angels, let alone virgins. In fact, I'm, like, picturing him...no, let's go into the depth of hell to hear this conversation.
INT. HELL
ADOLF HITLER and SADDAM HUSSEIN sit on the stump.
A flame hits Adolf on the ass. Of course, 'Dolfie screams like the little bitch that he was when he ran Germany into the ground in World War II.
The newest resident, OSAMA BIN LADEN waltzes in, and slumps down between Adolf and Saddam.
OSAMA: I don't believe this. I was supposed to be greeted by 72 virgins. Sure the bitches looked fine, and man, you should have seen this one. I couldn't tear myself from her. But now--
Osama scratches his nads. He also notices a couple warts near the shaft of his penis.
SADDAM (to Osama): How did that work out, infidel?
OSAMA (to Saddam): Who you calling infidel? At least I didn't fuck a country in the ass.
SADDAM (to Osama): Oh yeah? At least I didn't try to turn Islam into some twisted cult. And what's with this name al-Qaida anyway? For all I know, you probably insult the beloved Muhammad with that name. (to Adolf, gesturing to Osama) You know what he did? He goes to New York, knocks down the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, and America brings a jihad against me. ME! At least I didn't hide my face when I did my dirt.
Osama rolls up his sleeve and shakes his fist.
OSAMA: Why you--
HITLER (to Osama): What are you sweinhunds bitching about, ? At least the women you got were better than the ones I got stuck with.. (Gestures at Saddam) And this...this dumbkopf! He smells and whimper like one of those fat cows who never heard of feminine wash--
OSAMA and SADDAM (unison): Oh shut up.
Adolf shoves Osama, who kicks Saddam...who punches Adolf.
It's safe to say that we have a nice little brouhaha here, folks.
DARREN (V.O.): And so it goes.
Copyright 2011 by Darren W. Alexander. All Rights Reserved.
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